Early Spring Stirrings

Now, the dark times – literally, metaphorically, and emotionally – quietly give way to the first stirrings of light and life. The very early growth deep underground begins unseen. After the long slumber, the time of awakening is upon us.

With this time comes a new realization of what things I want to leave buried, and which I want to nurture as we enter the new growing season. Sometimes knowing what you don’t want is the first step in figuring out what you do want.

I’m finding the old ways no longer work. I’ve come to realize that what I was willing to settle for before is no longer enough. Is it sad? Yes, because I’m saying good-bye to a status quo that has followed me for most of my life. I’m letting go of what’s familiar for what’s strange and new. Yet, it is exciting and joyful because I it also means that I am no longer willing to settle for scraps. I’m no longer willing to sell myself short. I’m recognizing the magnitude and the depth of what I deserve. I think for the first time, I’m seeing how much I deserve to be treated with respect, cared for, and loved.

Maybe it’s that I’m finally learning to these thing for myself. Maybe that’s why I’m no longer willing to accept less than these from anyone else.