The thing with grief is that there are good days and bad days. Indeed, sometimes it comes so fast that there is a good moment and a bad moment followed by good moment. It’s the type of roller coaster ride that leaves you dizzy and nauseous. Yet, each time you swoop downward, you know you will rise again. Then the next downward rush isn’t quite so stomach-dropping.
Then you move forward a little. You don’t move on – never move on. Why would you move on from the love you shared with someone. Love is so rare; don’t leave it behind. Carry it with you each day as the landscape of your life slowly, ever so slowly transforms. What is important comes into sharp focus. What needs to be let go easily falls away – not painlessly, but easily slips through your fingers like sand that you watch being scattered across a windy beach to be carried by the ebb and flow of the tides.
Then you find yourself staring at the box on your closet shelf marked, “Cremated Remains” and know that your time in a box on someone’s closet shelf will come all too soon. How will you be remembered? What will those who you leave behind say about you? What feelings will your life evoke? All of us hope to be remembered with a smile, and so few of us truly are.
It makes you hungry. It makes you hungry for life – hungry to live, to embrace each moment as it comes. Not to waste any more time. To seek out and embrace the love out there and the love within. It is so precious – and scarce. No longer are you patient or willing to wait to become something more. You come to know down to your very bones that you no longer need to wait. You are enough.
And tomorrow’s dawn beckons.