I had a woman speak to me about grief lately. She said what she learned when she was widowed was that it’s like you have to reinvent yourself without that person. In many ways, I do feel like that.
No matter how old your kids get, you’re still their parent. No matter how old our kid got, we still co-parented them. We let each other know if something came up in our lives that would affect them. We talked about new events in their life. Now, I’m the only parent left, and I’m feeling the weight of that. I’m feeling a need to carefully guard my health and make sure I’m accessible at all times. No longer is there another who can step in.
As I process my own grieving, I’m also doing my best to support them too. I’ve had the privilege of watching them grow into a strong, confident, beautiful adult, yet even with them being 35, I’m still now the sole parent.
One thing I’ve always had with them, and he didn’t was that they would share their music with me. Even as a teen, they would video record music videos late at night to share with me the next day. They introduced me to groups like Train, Evanescence, Matchbox 20, and Green Day. Here’s one song by Green Day that’s been running through my mind lately: